New jokes

1. Baby

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit.

"May we see the new baby?"one of them asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

A while later and again the guests asked, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"When it cries!" she told them.

"When it cries?" they gasped.

"Why do we have to wait until it cries?"

"Because, I forgot where I put it."

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2. The Nun Decorators

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

The one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"

"Blind man!"The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see.What could it hurt."

They let him in.The man walks in, does a double take, and says, "Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

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Hear properly and don't be fooled around.