A company, feeling it was time for a shapeup, hires a new CEO.
The new CEO is determined to rid the company of all unproductive workers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a young chap leaning on a wall and relaxing.The room is full of workers who were busy working, except for this guy.
The CEO decides to let his staff know that he means business!The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week .........Why?"The CEO then hands the guy $600 in cash and screams, "Here's two weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!".Surprised and in fear, the guy immediately leaves.
Feeling pretty good about having fired his first worker, the CEO looks around the room and asks,"Does anyone want to tell me which department that worker belonged to?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He was the Pizza Delivery guy from Domino's."
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A man joined a big Multinational company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,"Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded,"You fool! You've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No", replied the trainee.
"Its the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" the MD responded.
The man shouted back,"and do you know who you're talking to, you fool?"
"No", replied the MD.
"Thank God!"' replied the trainee and put down the phone!
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Brains or a management technique?
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.
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