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LETTING GO AND MOVING ON BY JAMES OH

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MINDSET SHIFT: EMPLOYEE TO ENTREPRENEUR

MINDSET SHIFT: EMPLOYEE TO ENTREPRENEUR
BY JAMES OH

Saturday, December 6, 2008

JOY

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island.

The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food.The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife.

The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land.

On the other side of the island, there was nothing. Soon the first man prayed for a house,clothes, and more food. The next day, like magic,all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered. As the ship was about to leave, the first man
heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"

"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered.

"His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings."

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us. This is too good not to share.

With obedience come blessings. My prayer for you today is that all your prayers are answered. Be blessed.

"What you do for others is more important than what you do for yourself"

A good friend shared this with me, please share this with your friend.

Have a great day! By the way, just do not forget this in order to receive JOY in your heart is this -

Jesus, others and then yourself (JOY)

Lord Grant Me a wish

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish".

The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

Ah Soh

Ah Beng has full of nonsense jokes ...
These really hit the point.


Ah Soh wants to buy a TV set. She goes to a shop.
Ah Soh : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Soh : "Give me a green one, please "

===================================================
Ah Soh is filling up an application form for a job.
She supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc
Then she comes to column on "Salary Expected" She is not sure of the
question. After much thought, she writes " Yes "

===================================================
Ah Soh goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Soh : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Soh : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Soh : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Soh goes to work with her thermos flask Boss : "What is
that shiny object ?"
Ah Soh : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do?"
Ah Soh : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it ?"
Ah Soh : "Two cups of coffee and a coke" (^_^)

===================================================
After taking photocopies of documents,
Ah Soh always compare it with the original for spelling mistakes.

+==================================================
Ah Soh always smile during lightning storms
Because she thinks her picture is being taken.

===================================================
How can you tell if the fax is from Ah Soh ?
Because it has a postage stamp on it.

===================================================
Why can't Ah Soh dial 911 ?
Because she can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

===================================================
Ah Soh and her friend board a double-decker bus.
Her friend get a seat downstair and Ah Soh goes upstairs. After a while, her friend goes upstairs to look for Ah Soh and find her clutching the seats in both hands and her body is shivering.
Her friend:"What happen to you ? why are you shivering, I was enjoying my ride
downstair"
Ah Soh : "Yeah, but you've got a driver but I don't"

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Top Jokes

Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the
ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says:

"You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Top joke in USA

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off
his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that
ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA
scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in
zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass
and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used
a pencil.

Top joke in Australia

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all
strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this
morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and
frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and
bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face!
What's WRONG with me, Doctor?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of
minutes, then calmly says:

"Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your
eyesight...."

THE WINNING JOKE

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls
to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in
his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency
services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can
help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is
heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

SECOND PLACE

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and
a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours
later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at
the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do
you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically,
it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all
powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Top Joke in England

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."

Top Joke in Wales

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang
of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he
could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Top Joke in Scotland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in
terror like his passengers.


Top Joke in Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.

The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'

The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

IT Joke

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

The hat

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her
hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend
to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this
high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But, madam, you must know that you are not wearing a panty and your
privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir,
anything you see down there is 75 years old. I just bought this hat
yesterday"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

little faith

In our previous article well describe about what the will power can do for you. Today, we are more than happy to share with you about some of its histroy, which I have received from my good friend and one the contributors from this blog, Mejar Chan JL. Thanks to his generously supports.

We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. Anais Nin.

TO ALL:
IN LIFE WE ARE ALL FACED WITH ADVERSITY AND WITH WHAT APPEAR TO BE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGES. PLEASE SCROLL AND LEARN ABOUT 'WITH A LITTLE FAITH'. Hal Miller


The owner/trainer of this remarkable dog is Jude Stringfellow who lives in Edmond , Oklahoma . Recently she has been busy taking Faith to Veterans Hospitals all over the country where he inspires wounded miltary patients.
-- The Trouper

This is called 'Faith.' His name is Faith!This dog was born on Christmas Eve in 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which need to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he could survive. Therefore, he was thinking of putting him to sleep. At this time, his present owner Jude Stringfellow met him and wanted to take care of him. She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith.' In the beginning, she put Faith on a surf board to let him feel the movements of the water. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and to reward him for standing up and jumping around. Even the other dogs at home helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, after only 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he can now walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared in various newspapers and TV shows. There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching job and plans to take him around the world to preach that, 'even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul.'

In life there are always undesirable things. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.

Healing your own heart is the single most powerful thing you can do to change the world.
Deepak Chopra

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Go for Bananas

This is very interesting.'''After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again

-Bananas.
Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucosecombined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for astrenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruitwith the world's leading athletes.But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can alsohelp overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions,making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana.This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin inthe blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassiumyet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so,the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry tomake official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of bloodpressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obesewere more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levelsby snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit thatcan be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat,sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassiumlevels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,"eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

SHARE THIS WITH ALL OF YOUR ON-LINE FRIENDS and FAMILYPS

Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!

Smile

A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
Life is short but a smile takes barely a second.
Every tear has a smile behind it.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.
A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.
Too often we underestimate the power of a smile, which have the potential to turn a life around.
Smiles are the language of love.
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
All people smile in the same language.

Children smile on the average 400 times/day; Adults: 15 times/day.. Ever wonder why?
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
If I thought that a smile of mine, might linger the whole day through and lighten some heart with a heavier part, I'd not withhold it -- Would you?
Smile because God gave Human this beautiful gift - A Smile....

OBAMA

OBAMA-meaning!!!!
I am pretty sure you shall love this one:

O - Originally
B - Born in
A - Africa to
M - Manage the
A - Americans

Ten Marriage commandments

Subject: Marriage commandments

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, "It really works!"

She is a woman

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding

http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/she-is-a-woman.html

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

She is a woman

If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring

If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So damning, yet so wonderful
So confusing, yet so desirable................

http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/she-is-a-woman.html

Coffee and bread

Just for laugh.... Enjoy!

So funny.....! Kopi and bread. Which is more talkative, kopi or bread?

*Scroll down for the answer....Answer: Bread.

Because BreadTalk but Kopitiam!?!. (Tiam in Hokkein means quiet )

Monday, December 1, 2008

SAND & STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERTDURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND.TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH.THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE! AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

SHARE THIS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET. I JUST DID.

IF YOU DON'T SHARE IT WITH ANYONE, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

Happy reading.

HOLY HUMOR

HAVE A NICE DAY AND THANKSGIVING DAY TOO. ENJOY!

God wants us to give life a chuckle... He wants us to be happy!

~~~~~~Some Christian Humor~~~~~

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. 'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk.'Only the Ten Commandments. ' answered the lady. ========

'Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.There are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good morning, Lord,'and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good Lord, it's morning.'
========

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.'When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.'
========

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.'
========

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, 'Boys and girls, what do we know about God?'
A hand shot up in the air. 'He is an artist!'
said the kindergarten boy. 'Really? How do you know?'
the teacher asked. 'You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...'
========

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

'Reverend,' said the young man, 'I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.'

The minister chuckled, 'I know what you mean. It's the same in my business.'
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
========

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, 'I know what the Bible means!'
His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?'
The son replied, 'I do know!'
'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?'

'That's easy, Daddy.' the young boy replied excitedly,
'It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.''
========

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, 'Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt.'

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said 'Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.'
========

VATICAN HUMOR
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb..

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile? Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver..

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'Well,'
said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
------------ --------- ----
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life, And share it with other folk!

Fresh fish - very inspiring

Fresh Fish

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish.If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days,they lost their fresh-fish taste.

The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep usawake and moving? Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better.....The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a challenge. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror.

You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

See the difference between the males and females

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!So, a woman goes to the

Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads:: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework."Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives who love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

Monkey with a death wish video

video

Sunday, November 30, 2008

THE BRICK

Dear readers,

Read this today and don't ignore it if you are too busy!! You'll see why.


THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared . Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?'

The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said. 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

God sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

笑到差點暈倒!!哈哈哈哈

笑到差點暈倒!!哈哈哈哈
主題: Fw: 轉寄:英國燈泡包裝紙上的警語
我不清楚台灣的燈泡是不是跟英國一樣。在英國,燈泡的包裝紙上都有警告-- Do not put that object into your mouth.

意思是不要把燈泡放進口中。那有人會放這東西進口中?英國人都有些白痴 ... 告訴你,世事無絕對! 有天我和一個印度朋友在家中看電視,我和他談到這件事,他告訴我 他們小學的教科書也有說到,燈泡放進口後便會卡住, 無論如何都拿不出來,他十分肯定書是那麼說的..

但我十分懷疑,我認為燈泡的表面是十分滑的,如果可以放得進口,證明口部足夠大讓其出入,理論上也可以拿出來。

但這印度白痴只說書上是那麼說的... 便一定是正確 ... 我被他這種不求甚解的態度弄火了,我說他笨,他說我不會英文不看書... 我們便吵了起來 ... 我一肚火地回了家,拿起一個普通大小的燈泡在床上左想右想, 始終認為我沒有錯, 想到這印度朋友的無知,也本著科學家的精神----- 大膽假設,小心求證。

我決定要證實給他看。當然,我也做了安全措施...買了一瓶菜油回家。一切就緒,二話不說便把燈泡放進口中 ...

不消 1秒便滑入了口,倒也容易...照這樣看要拿出來絕無問題。心想你這印度白痴,看看我中國人的智慧和膽色吧!不像你這書呆子...心想中國戰勝印度 ... 打從心裡笑了出來...哈哈!

於是我輕鬆的拉了燈泡一下......... 好!我放多點力 ........o.k !我把口張大一 些 ........ 不怕,我把口張到最大,再放多一點力 ( 要很小心拉才能避免燈破掉)......... 媽的! ... 真的在嘴巴內卡住了 ......好在還有瓶菜油 .........

( 30 分鐘後)我倒了3/4瓶油,其中一半倒了進肚,但那燈泡還是動也不動... 這時候,我只好打電話求救 ...................... 正當我按到一半,我記起我口中塞了個燈泡 ... 如何說話?

現在我只好向鄰居求助,我寫了一張便條後便去找鄰家那老婦。她一見我便大呼救命 ...我立即給她看我的便條 --- please call me a taxi and tell the driver to take me hospital.

(請招呼一輛計程車,還請告訴司機載我到醫院。)

她看了大約1.75 分鐘後大聲狂笑... (如果我說得出話我便 K她了.) 15分鐘後,計程車來了。 司機一見我,笑了一回 ( 其實他一直沒有停過)。 在計程車上不停的問我何以這麼做 ...(...***... 我如何答他?)

還不停說我的口太小,如果是他的口便沒有問題... 我看看他的口真是很大 ... 但我好想告訴他,無論如何不要試...可惜我開不了口!我看看他的倒後鏡,我好像含住了一條金魚 ... 在醫院,我被護士罵了十多分鐘,說我浪費她們時間。

還要我排一條很長的龍... 我在人群中待了2.5小時 ...2.5小時... 那些痛楚萬分的傷者,看見我都好像不痛了 ...人人都偷偷笑出來... 我覺得自己還有些作用 ... 醫生把綿花放進我口的兩旁,然後把燈泡打碎...一片片的拿出來... 我的口腫得很大 ...最後他告訴我下回不要再試,和告訴別人我的經驗 ... 我告訴他,我一定不會了。

當我離開醫院時,我在想,這地球一定沒有像我這麼白痴的生物了... 當我開門離開時,迎面來了一個人,是剛才那計程車司機 ...他口中含了一個燈泡 .......

註:因為燈泡是圓形的 而人的口腔構造要含住燈泡很簡單 但是當你要吐出燈泡時 因為牙齒會卡住燈泡中間最寬的地方 如果用力張開嘴巴 口腔內部又會施壓到燈泡 所以就吐不出來了!! 也因此,國外的燈泡包裝上 會註明:請勿放到嘴巴!!

Warren Buffett's 7 Secrets for Living a Happy and Simple Life

Warren Buffett's 7 Secrets for Living a Happy and Simple Life

Warren Buffett never flies in a private jet -- even though he owns the largest private jet company. He also lives in a small three-bedroom house he bought 50 years ago, and keeps himself occupied by playing online bridge.It is refreshing, and inspiring, to hear of a man with all the wealth in the world who still believes that happiness lies not with riches but within yourself.You, too, may become immensely happier by integrating some of the following wisdom into your own life.

Secret #1: Happiness comes from within.
“In my adult business life I have never had to make a choice of trading between professional and personal. I tap-dance to work, and when I get there it’s tremendous fun.” -- Warren Buffett

If you do what you love and love what you do, you’ll naturally be productive.

Secret #2: Find happiness in simple pleasures.
“I have simple pleasures. I play bridge online for 12 hours a week.” -- Warren Buffett

You can also learn to be happy with the simple pleasures of playing cards with friends, playing with your children or taking a walk in the wilderness.

Secret #3: Live a simple life.
“I just naturally want to do things that make sense. In my personal life too, I don’t care what other rich people are doing. I don’t want a 405 foot boat just because someone else has a 400 foot boat.” -- Warren Buffett

Keeping up with the Joneses is the worst epidemic among those who should never contemplate that notion in the first place. Less is more.

Secret #4: Think Simply.
“I want to be able to explain my mistakes. This means I do only the things I completely understand.” -- Warren Buffett

If you apply this rule in your life, you can develop clarity and sanity in your thoughts. Life is about simple yet profound choices.

Secret #5: Invest Simply.
“The best way to own common stocks is through an index fund.” -- Warren Buffett

Often, the simplest route will bring you the most riches, and the most happiness.

Secret #6: Have a mentor in life.
“I was lucky to have the right heroes. Tell me who your heroes are and I’ll tell you how you’ll turn out to be. The qualities of the one you admire are the traits that you, with a little practice, can make your own, and that, if practiced, will become habit-forming.” -- Warren Buffett

Having a mentor is as important as having a purpose in your life, but having a wrong mentor is as devastating as having a wrong purpose in your life. The mentor has to be someone you can trust. You’ll find that person in your inner circle if you think hard enough.

Secret #7: Making money isn’t the backbone of your guiding purpose; making money is the by-product of your guiding purpose.

“If you’re doing something you love, you’re more likely to put your all into it, and that generally equates to making money.” -- Warren Buffett

Money should never become the object and end all of your motivation.

Sources:
Success Soul July 15, 2008

Dying for what

So, don't repeat the similar mistake and remember that you are born to live. So, enjoy every moment of your life.

CRUISE CONTROL

NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE I wonder how many people know about this? A 36-year-old female had an accident several weeks ago and totalled her car.A resident of Wollongong, NSW, she was travelling between Wollongong & Sydney.It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence!

When she explained to the policeman what had happened, he told her something that every driver should know NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.But the policeman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tyres lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane.She told the policeman that was exactly what had occurred.

The policeman estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 kms per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control. The policeman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning.

We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the road is dry. The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the policeman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.

If you share this to 15 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was all worth it. You might have saved a life.