The hat

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her
hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend
to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this
high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But, madam, you must know that you are not wearing a panty and your
privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir,
anything you see down there is 75 years old. I just bought this hat
yesterday"