JAMES OH
AUTHOR
BETTER THAN THE BEST
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/302553
How to Stop Complaining to be Happier
I've always
been a complainer. It wasn't so much that I was unhappy and that's why I was
complaining -- it was just a habit that started to perpetuate itself, making it
hard to break and eventually becoming a part of who I am. Soon, the mindless
complaining started to create unhappiness, reinforcing negativity in myself and
for those around me.
I knew that I
needed a change, so I decided to do a bit of a detox. When I went online to get
some tips, I found that many others were doing the same, and that cutting out
complaining and other forms of negative self-talk had actually been shown to
improve mood and to increase your overall happiness level, improving other
aspects of your health, as well.
Here are a
few tips that helped me learn to stop complaining and that may help you, as
well:
Make a Pledge and Tell Everyone about
It
When you
announce your intentions to others, not only does it make it more official, but
you also have people who can then support you in meeting your goals and hold
you accountable. When I told my friends and family about my decision to stop
complaining, a few people were confused about why I wanted to do it, but most
were very supportive and excited to see how I would progress on the journey.
Let others
know what you are doing and why you are doing it. If you have a goal for how
many days you want to make it complaint-free, tell them that. Also let them
know what kind of language you consider to be a "complaint" and what
you need from them in order to support you.
Use a Visual Reminder
A reverend
who challenged his church to stop complaining launched a movement
(http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/) that now strives to reach people all
around the world to promote this message of positivity. One of the strategies
that this movement employs is the use of a purple bracelet as a visual reminder
of the pledge to stop complaining. When you slip up and complain, you move the
band to the other arm and you start counting down your complaint-free days
again.
When I
started on my complaint-free mission, I used one of the bracelets. However, it
was hard for me to remember how many days it had been since I switched it,
making it more difficult for me to monitor my progress. I found that keeping a
journal helped me more. Though it wasn't a constant visual reminder, it did
offer me a clear visual guide to my progress whenever I opened it up.
Focus on the Positive
To really
stop your complaints, you have to find other things to focus on besides the
negative. There will always be bad things happening either in your life, in
your friends' lives or in the world. If you dwell on these things, you will
become consumed , and that negativity will breed more negativity.
If you feel
that you want to start complaining about something, focus on something positive
instead. It can either be a positive aspect of the situation you want to
complain about, or it can be something else positive that's happening in your
life. When I first started doing this, it felt a little weird and unnatural. Bu
after a few weeks, I started to naturally think about the positive things in my
life, and all those negatives started to dwindle, making it all that much
easier to stop complaining.
Get to the Root of Your Complaints
Mindless
complaining isn't just about habit sometimes. It can often mask your
unhappiness with deeper issues. Maybe you aren't happy in your job, or maybe
your marriage is experiencing some troubles. Maybe you just don't feel content
in your life. Whatever the reason, you have to deal with these issues if you
are going to stop the complaints and start to focus more on the positive.
In my case, I
was very unhappy with my job and found that I wasn't doing what I really wanted
to do. A few months into my no-complaints challenge, I started shifting my
focus to writing full-time, and I eventually was able to quit my job and
transition to writing for pay. It was such a relief and I was so much happier
that I found that I naturally wanted to complain less.
Complaints
are insidious little comments that can start to dominate our speech and our
thoughts before we realize what's happening. Over time, this constant focusing
on the negative can cause you to feel unhappy and not to live up to your full
potential. If you have done some honest soul-searching and realize that you
need to stop complaining, these tips can help you to focus on the positive and
get to a place that is happier and more
fulfilling in your life. You'll be amazed at what changing this one habit can
do for you!
About the
Author:
Bridget
Sandorford is a freelance food and culinary writer, where recently she’s been
researching culinary
schools in Atlanta.
In her spare time, she enjoys biking, painting and working on her first
cookbook.
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