HOW TO COPE WELL WITH JOB LOST

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With American economy facing financial tumult, the rest of world are no exception to experience adverse impact one way or the other. As a result, it is normal for you or someone close to you to have lost their jobs and are having difficulties to overcome their emotional feelings. Even if you are not affected, it is no harm for you to be equip and prepare yourselves. Due to rapid changes in the market place, no one is able to predict the future with certainty.  

STAGES OF GRIEF

Losing a job can cause complications because it involves several stages of grief subsequent to that occurrence. We need time to heal especially for those who regard their careers as second to death. With this in mind, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross devised stages of grief as follows:

1. At denial stage, we tend to think that there must have been a mistake. It could not be happening to us. 

2. In anger stage, we insist it is not fair. After all, we viewed ourselves as good and necessary workers who do not deserve this treatment. Why me will arise in the individual mindset? We tend to compare with others and conclude that other co-workers deserve to lose their jobs more than us. Such emotions will put us in the worst mood.

3. At bargaining stage, we try to get back in through the door in number of possible ways.

4. If you are not careful, depression might hit you. Sadness breeds sadness. Eventually, we see darkness everywhere. 

5. At Acceptance stage, we have processed adequately and we acknowledge that we should take care of what we are in control of and do the best we can.

Even though it is helpful to look at the above from five stages listed above, however, each individual may not necessarily go through from one to the next stage. Some might skip over one stage for a while and return back to an “earlier” stage at an even deeper level than before. In short, some might even go back and forth between the stages, deepening the process each time they return. Once, these stages are broken down, it can be used to help us have compassion for ourselves as we go through the difficulties. It tends to give a proven recipe to assist you to have a better understanding on how we are overcoming grief.

1. HAVE THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE 

View it from a wider perspective and accept the fact that you are not alone. Take it as a challenge rather than a mis-fortune. Remember the saying "No pain, no gain." Turn it to an opportunity so that you can use this to help others become wiser, stronger, smarter and more humble. Trust me, the reward is far beyond its costs.

2. BE FAIR TO YOURSELF

Naturally, the very first thought that strike our mind when facing job loss is the loss of income. Worse still, if we are the  sole bread winner with dependents, this can be seriously frightening, devastating, and shameful loss. This is because many of us judge our competency and value by our work life.

3. LOSING MORE THAN YOUR JOB

There are adverse social implications during grieving. How will others look and feel about us especially we are no longer having our jobs. Will we lose touch with them? This will one way or the other lead us to wonder about our future work life. Will we fit in anyplace else?

4. FEAR OF SURVIVAL

If left unchecked, we will have the fear of survival along with these unhealthy thoughts. This will often lead to questions of your capability and competency. Depending on individual background and experience, certain old bondage return to be confronted and many self-worth questions will come to the forefront. This is a good time to get some support from a professional psychotherapist to help ease the sting and removed these wounds. View this as an opportunity to heal some of our old wounds once and for all. It will only set you free. It is also wise for you to take advantage of the support groups, available at your community.

5. TURN IT INTO AN OPPORTUNITY 

The good news is that once you have overcome this initial fear, you will find that the job loss is an opportunity for growing into something that suits you better. This in turn help you feel more stronger and successful in your life. Therefore, be kind to yourselves by eating and sleeping well, exercising, journaling and taking time to refresh yourselves to reflect on your various highly charged thoughts and feelings. If you have given time for yourself, you could have chance to look more closely at what is important to you. So, take your life as it comes and make the best with what you have. This is my sincere desire for all of you. In this instance, you may learn from the book author - Miss Lilou Mace - "I LOST MY JOB AND I LIKED IT".

6. LOOK AND MOVE FORWARD RATHER THAN HARP ON THE PAST

Never let the past hold you back, so look and move forward. That is life. This serve as my golden rule and hope you can use it for your benefit. Thanks and look forward to hearing from you,

Wishing you a great success,

James Oh