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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING Part 1

Dear loving readers,
What is the point of winning a battle, but not the war.. Similarly, to win people to your way of thinking, people must able to see its Real benefits before they are willing to change. Below please find some useful tips you may use to guide yourself so as to reap its real benefits:-

1.       TO OBTAIN THE BEST OF AN ARGUMENT, AVOID IT

Do you know that nine out of ten times, an argument ends with each contestant more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right despite any evidence proving otherwise. It is always better to give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in arguing for the right. Even killing a dog would not cure the bite.

As such, to reap real benefits in an argument, it is best to avoid it. However, you do not have to give in or give up your way of thinking, but live in the way you think is right. Let the result convince others when they subsequently realize it.

2.       SHOW RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S VIEWS. NEVER SAY, “YOU'RE WRONG"

We always believe that there are more than one path to success. Similarly, there may be more than one right answer in any given situation. You think you are right, that does not mean that your opponent's view is wrong. The difference is that they are looking from different perspectives that give rise to two different right answers. That goes well with these two contradictory statements; Seeing is believing and Seeing is deceiving; both are contradicting but true when applied to any given situation.

Therefore, it is wise not to say they are wrong because it will have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgment, pride and self-respect. As such, their tendencies to strike back is always much higher than to change their minds even you have good intention to do so. This has been well proven by Galileo, who have once said that you cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.

3.     ADMIT IT QUICKLY AND EMPHATICALLY IF YOU ARE WRONG

To do so, always remember that any fool can try to defend his mistake and most fools do, but it give rise to a feeling of nobility to admit one's mistake.  It is equally true that by fighting you will never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected. No one is perfect and makes no mistake.

4.      BEGIN IN A FRIENDLY WAY

The use of gentleness and friendliness is well proven by the statement; "a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall' advocated by Abraham Lincoln. It goes well that gentleness and friendliness are always stronger than fury and force.

5.     GET THE OTHER PERSON SAYING “YES, YES” IMMEDIATELY.

This is exactly illustrated in the Chinese proverb, with the age-old wisdom of the Orient: "He who treads softly goes far." It is always wise to begin the talk by discussing the things on which you agree and not on which you differ. Once you turn the situation to be more conducive, you can then be more effective in dealing with things on which you disagree. Just try out and see the result yourself.

6.  LET THE OTHER PERSON DO A GREAT OF THE TALKING.

Here, it is more effective to stimulate them to talk. So, just listen patiently and with open mind. Do not interrupt even if you disagree with them. It is dangerous and they won't pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. Be sincere about them and work with them. Encourage them to tell you their ideas fully. He must be heard.
  
Hope the above tips will assist you to win your way of thinking to get more things done.

Please do not forget to share some of your experience or views should you have any.

Thank you and look forward to hearing from you,


James Oh